The My Little Sister is a Human Christmas special
by McQueenfan95
Summary: Christmas in Radiator Springs. There'll be laughs, romance, and much, much more.


The "My Little Sister is a Human" Christmas Special

Disclaimer: I don't own Cars. That is property of Disney/Pixar. I don't own 'My Little Sister is a Human'. Nor do I own Jen, Rocket, Evan, Christine, Zack or Dustin. They are property of Deadly Fangs, and can't be used without her permission. I do own James. He is mine, and can't be used without my permission. I don't own 'The twelve pains of Christmas'. That is owned by Bob Rivers. Bob, if your reading this, I'm sorry. I don't own the Hanukkah song, that's owned by Adam Sandler. I don't own Feliz Navidad, O Christmas tree, Dominick the donkey, or _The Night before Christmas_.

McQueenfan95: Hello readers. As you could probably tell, this is the Christmas special. That's right. It's a _Christmas _special, not a holiday special. If you got a problem with that, it's your problem.

Deadly Fangs: Ok, calm down. I know this whole Anti-Christ thing has you a little steamed, but you don't wanna offend our readers.

McQueenfan95: Ok, sorry. Anyway, we're gonna have a lotta fun. Christmas pranks, carols, and even a brief apperance by the one and only, Santa Claus.

Jen: No way!

McQueenfan95: Way.

Rocket: Sweet!

James: Totally Awesome. What the Hell did I just say?

Deadly Fangs: Never mind.

McQueenfan95:I also wanna say that this story is mainly about James because he's my

Oc and he's the one I really connect with. Anyway, without further adue, on with the special!

It was Christmas time in Radiator Springs, and everyone was very excited. Christmas was the town's favorite holiday.

The town was all decorated up of the occasion. James, Zack, Dustin, Evan, Mater, Lightning, and every other male in town had spent the last three days constructing a huge Christmas tree out of old tires and gluing them together with tar. (author's note: I got the idea for the tree from the Cars Hallmark keepsake Christmas tree ornament)

Even the surrounding desert was getting into the spirit of the season. There was two feet of snow on the ground. Infact, the lake in Tailfin Pass had frozen solid.

After seeing this, Zack had started to complain. "What the...? Why is there snow? We're in the middle of Arizona! In the desert, no less! Do climates mean nothing any...".

That was as far as he got before Dustin threw a snowball and hit him in the face. He stopped halfway through the word _'anymore'_.

Zack didn't waste any time, he quickly made a snowball and chucked it back at Dustin. It missed and hit James.

James brushed the snow off and said, "oh, it's on", scooped up a handful of snow and joined in the fight. He targeted Evan and hit him square in the back of the head. Zack began to try and hit James with a 'scatter shot', or several snowballs thrown at once, James dodged them like Neo dodged bullets in "The Matrix".

After fifteen or twenty minutes of pitching snowballs at each other, Zack yelled "I surrender!", and walked out with his hands raised. Dustin was lying on the ground, pretending to have been killed in battle.

James and Evan walked out of their hiding place with snowballs ready, incase Zack tried anything funny. James turned to Evan and said, "Finish them off". They faced Zack and threw their snowballs. Zack hit the ground.

James then said, "Alright, enough of this. We better get back to work or we're not gonna have the tree ready in time".

Zack got up and dusted himself off. "What the Hell?", he asked James, "Why did you kill me? I surrendered!".

James simply told him "We don't take no prisoners. Can we get back to work now?".

Evan asked him, "Why are you so obsessed with us getting back to work?".

"Because", James answered, "It's my first real Christmas, and I want it to be perfect".

Dustin tapped Zack on the shoulder, made some signs with his hands, and nodded.

Zack quickly translated. "Dustin says, 'What do you mean 'it's your first real Christmas'?'".

James sighed and answered, "We didn't celebrate holidays back at the base. We knew when they were, but we didn't bother celebrating".

Jen, overhearing what James said, walked over and said, "Your kidding".

James said "No, I'm not. I wish I were".

Jen was about to say something else, when she was interrupted by the sound of a car horn coming from the Cozy Cone.

They looked toward the source of the sound and saw a postal service delivery van sitting in the parking lot. Jen said, "Oh, that must be for me", and she ran over to the motel.

"What was that all about?", asked Evan.

"It's probably one of the gifts she ordered. Now that we got that out of the way, GET BACK TO WORK!", James said.

)))

Jen walked over to the delivery van, hoping that he would be delivering the last of the Christmas presents she had ordered.

The van said to her, "Are you 'Jen'?".

Jen answered, "Yes, I am".

The van held out a clipboard with a pen attached to it. "Sign on the line, please". Jen signed her name, while the van opened his side door and, using a hydralic lift, lowered Jen's package to the ground. He then said, "Have a nice day", closed his door and headed back to the interstate.

Jen picked the box up off the ground and began to carry it over to Cone #3.

Rocket pulled up a few seconds later and said, "Hey sis, what ya got there?".

Jen answered, "James's Christmas present".

"Really? What'd you get him?".

"You'll see when we get inside".

They went into the cone, where Jen slowly peeled the tape off the box, while mumbling, "I really need to get a pocketknife". She opened the box to reveal a new pair of work boots.

"Your giving your boyfriend a pair of boots for Christmas?", Rocket said in a 'what-is-wrong-with-you' tone.

"Yes, I am. What are _you_ giving _your _boyfriend?", Jen said with a chuckle.

Rocket looked back at her flatly and sarcasticly said, "Har dee har har. Your killin' me".

"Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week", Jen said.

)))

Back outside, they had just finished hanging the lights and other ornaments on the tire tree. James stepped back and said, "Alright, it's finished". Then, he scratched his head and said, "No, it's not. It's missing something, but what?".

Doc answered, "I think I know. Your missing the star at the top".

James slapped his forehead twice while saying, "Oh, Stupid! Stupid!".

Doc said, "Don't worry. I have just the thing", and drove over to his garage. He returned a few minutes later with one of his Piston Cups. He said, "This should be perfect. Just don't scratch it".

"Thanks Doc", James said, "This means so much". He then tried to figure out how he was going to get the trophy up to the top of the tree. He thought of climbing up the side of the tree with the trophy in his hand, or in his rucksack, but he didn't dare to try it. He didn't want to risk damaging Doc's trophy. That was when he was struck by inspiration. He called for Red. "RED!".

Red pulled in and said, "Yeah? What'cha need?".

James asked him, "Ya got your ladder with ya?".

Red answered, "Yeah", lifting his ladder out of the cradle slightly, "I always have my ladder. Why?".

James told him, "Could you lift me to the top of the tire tree, so I can put this up there?", holding the Piston Cup so Red could see it.

Red nodded and said, "No problem at all. Hop on".

James left the trophy on the ground, but took a length of rope with him so he could hoist the trophy up. Red carefully lifted James to the top of the tree and waited. James tied one end of the rope to the end of Red's ladder, so that if, God forbid, the rope slipped and he dropped the trophy, it wouldn't hit the ground. He then yelled down, "OK, SOMEONE TIE THE CUP TO THE ROPE AND I'LL PULL IT UP!".

Zack tied the cup to the rope about three feet from the ground, and James started to pull the rope, hand over hand, up to the top. he then untied the cup and placed it onto the top of the tire tree. Then yelled, "OK RED, BRING ME DOWN!".

Red carefully brought him back to the ground as Jen and Rocket arrived back at the tree site.

Evan plugged in the lights and the tree lit up. Everyone let out an Ooooooh.

Someone started to sing 'O Christmas tree'. (author's note: just to tick you guys off, I'm not gonna tell you who started singing).

They all formed a huge circle around the tree, joined hands/antennas and began to sing.

_O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,  
How lovely are your branches!  
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,  
How lovely are your branches!  
In beauty green will always grow  
Through summer sun and winter snow.  
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,  
How lovely are your branches!  
_

_O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,  
You are the tree most loved!  
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,  
You are the tree most loved!_

_How often you give us delight  
In brightly shining Christmas light!  
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,  
You are the tree most loved!  
_

_O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,  
Your beauty green will teach me_

_O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,  
Your beauty green will teach me  
That hope and love will ever be  
The way to joy and peace for me.  
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree,  
Your beauty green will teach me._

"Woo-boy!', Mater yelled, "That was fu-u-un".

Jen asked, "did we seriously just sing 'O Christmas tree' to a stack of tires?".

Dustin nodded his head.

James said, "I got a better one. Just join i when you know it. We're gonna sing the parts one at a time. Here we go", and he started. (author's note: I'm going to post who sings what part like "James:" or "Evan:")

James: _The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
Is finding a Christmas tree  
_  
Everyone joined him at that point.

All: _The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:_  
James: _Rigging up the lights_  
All: _And finding a Christmas tree_

All: _The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
_Evan: _Hangovers  
_James: _Rigging up the lights_  
All: _And finding a Christmas tree  
_  
All: _The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
_  
Rocket: _Sending Christmas cards_  
Evan: _Hangovers  
_James: _Rigging up the lights_  
All: _And finding a Christmas tree_

All: _The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me_  
All: _Five months of bills!  
_Rocket: _Sending Christmas cards  
_Evan: _Hangovers_  
James: _Rigging up the lights_  
All: _And finding a Christmas tree_

All: _The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:_  
Jen: _Facing my in-laws_  
All: _Five months of bills!_  
Rocket: _Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!_  
Evan: _Hangovers  
_James: _Rigging up these lights!  
_All: _And finding a Christmas tree_

All: _The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:  
_Lightning: _The Salvation Army  
_Jen: _Facing my in-laws_  
All: _Five months of bills!  
_Rocket: _Sending Christmas cards_  
Evan: _Oh, geez!  
_James: _I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!  
_All: _And finding a Christmas tree_

All: _The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:_  
Zack:_ I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!  
_Lightning: _Charities,  
_Ramone: _And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?  
_All: _Five months of bills!  
_Rocket: _Ach, making out these cards_  
Evan: _Honey, get me a beer, huh?  
_James: _What, we have no extension cords?  
_All: _And finding a Christmas tree_

All: _The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
_Sarge:_ Finding parking spaces_  
Zack: _DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!  
_Lightning: _Donations!  
_Jen: _Facing my in-laws _All: _Five months of bills!  
_Rocket: _Writing out those Christmas cards  
_Evan: _Hangovers!  
_James: Now why the hell are they blinking?  
All: _And finding a Christmas tree  
_  
All: _The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:_  
Christine: _"Batteries Not Included"  
_Sarge: _No parking spaces  
_Zack: _BUY ME SOMETHIN'!_  
Lightning: _Get a job, ya bum!  
_Jen: _Facing my in-laws!  
_All: _Five months of bills!  
_Rocket: _Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards_  
Evan: _Oh, geez, look at this!  
_James: _One light goes out, they ALL go out!  
_All: _And finding a Christmas tree_

All: _The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:_  
Mater: _Stale TV specials_  
Christine: _"Batteries Not Included"  
_Sarge: _No parking spaces_  
Zack:_ DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!  
_Lightning: _Charities!  
_Jen: _She's a witch...I hate her!  
_All: _Five months of bills!  
_Rocket: _Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!  
_Evan: _Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?  
_James: _Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!  
_All: _And finding a Christmas tree_

All: _The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:_  
Mack: _Singing Christmas carols  
_Mater: _Stale TV specials  
_Christine: _"Batteries Not Included"  
_Sarge:_ No parking?  
_Zack: _WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!  
_Lightning: _Charities!  
_Jen: _Gotta make 'em dinner!  
_All: _Five months of bills!  
_Rocket: _I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!  
_Evan: _Shut up, you!  
_James: _FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!  
_All: _And finding a Christmas tree _

James yelled, "That's fine! That's fine!", as everyone else cheered.

Rocket said, "Can I pick a song?".

James said, "Ok. Go right ahead".

Roceket said, "I chose this song because, I know Hanukkah is over, but there's a lot of Christmas songs and I was thinking of all the nice Jewish people that don't get to hear any Hanukkah songs.

"Hold on. Let me get my guitar", James said as he ran over to his building. He returned a few minutes later with his guitar.

Rocket began to sing, while James played.

_Put on your yarmulka, it's time for Hanukkah  
Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah,_

Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights,  
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

But when you're the only kid in town without a Christmas tree, Here's a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me:

David Lee Roth lights the menorrah,  
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli,  
Bowzer from Sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli.

Paul Newman's half Jewish; Goldie Hawn's half too,  
Put them together-what a fine lookin' Jew!

You don't need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock  
Cause you can spin a dreidle with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock-both Jewish!

Put on your yalmulka, its time for Hanukkah,  
The owner of the Seattle Super sonic-ah celebrates Hanukkah.

O.J. Simpson- not a Jew!  
But guess who is...Hall of Famer—Rod Carew-(he converted!)

We got Ann Landers and her sister, Dear Abby,  
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish-not too shabby!

Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,  
Well, he's not, but guess who is: All three stooges.

So many Jews are in show biz-  
Lightning McQueen isn't, but I heard his agent is.

Tell your friend Veronica, it's time to celebrate Hanukkah  
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah,  
If you really, really wanna-kah, Have a happy, happy, happy, happy  
Hanukkah…. HAPPY HANUKKAH!  


Evan walked over to them and said, "I'm not even gonna ask how we did that, but it sure was fun".

Ramone said, "Can I choose a song?".

James said, "Go right ahead".

"Great", Ramone said, "Feliz Navidad!"

_Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Prospero año y felicidad._

Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Prospero año y felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
From the bottom of my heart.  


_I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
From the bottom of my heart._

_Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Prospero año y felicidad._

Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Prospero año y felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
From the bottom of my heart.  


_I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
From the bottom of my heart__.  
_

_Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Prospero año y felicidad._

Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Feliz Navidad  
Prospero año y felicidad.  


When they finished 'Feliz Navidad', Luigi said, "My-a turn-a! Dominick the donkey!". (author's note. the words in ()s are Guido in a solo. Everything else is Luigi leading.)

_Chingedy ching,  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
It's Dominick the donkey.  
Chingedy ching,  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
The Italian Christmas donkey.  
la la la-la la-la la la la la  
la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da_

Santa's got a little friend,  
his name is Dominick.  
The cutest little donkey,  
you never see him kick.  
When Santa visits his paisans,  
with Dominick he'll be.  
Because the reindeer cannot  
climb the hills of Italy.

Hey! Chingedy ching,  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
It's Dominick the donkey.  
Chingedy ching,  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
The Italian Christmas donkey.  
la la la-la la-la la la la la  
la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da

Jingle bells around his feet,  
and presents on the sled.  
Hey! Look at the mayor's derby,  
on top of Dominick's head.  
A pair of shoes for Louie,  
and a dress for Josephine.  
The labels on the inside says,  
they're made in Bruccalin'. (Brooklyn)

Hey! Chingedy ching,  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
It's Dominick the donkey.  
Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw)  
The Italian Christmas donkey.  
la la la-la la-la la la la la  
la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da

Children sing, and clap their hands,  
And Dominick starts to dance.  
They talk Italian to him,  
And he even understands.  
Cummare's and cumpare's  
Do the dance 'a tarantell',  
When Santa Nicola comes to town,  
And brings 'o ciucciarell.'

Hey! Chingedy ching,  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
It's Dominick the donkey.  
Chingedy ching,  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
The Italian Christmas donkey.  
la la la-la la-la la la la la  
la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da  
Hey! Dominick! Buonn Natale!

(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  
(hee-haw, hee-haw)  


Everyone applauded after they were finished.

Evan said, "This is really creeping me out. How are we doing this with no practice?".

James answered, "I don't know. Luck?".

"It's a Christmas miracle!", Rocket yelled, "Let's all hold hands and sing 'kumbaya'".

Zack chuckled and said, "Ok, ummm, NO!".

Doc said, "Anyway, My turn. I'm gonna do something that's been a Christmas eve tradition in my family for many years".

Evan said, "We're gonna get drunk and throw up".

Doc glared daggers at Evan and said, "No, I'm going to read everyone _The Night before Christmas_. Gather round, everyone".

Everyone pulled in close as Doc got out a dusty, old copy of _The Night before Christmas, _and he began to read.

T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house  
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.  
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,  
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,  
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.  
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,  
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,  
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.  
Away to the window I flew like a flash,  
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow  
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.  
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,  
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.  
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,  
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!  
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!  
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!  
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,  
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.  
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,  
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof  
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.  
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,  
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,  
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.  
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,  
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his sack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples-how merry!  
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!  
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,  
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,  
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.  
He had a broad face and a little round belly,  
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,  
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!  
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,  
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,  
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.  
And laying his finger aside of his nose,  
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,  
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.  
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,  
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!".

Doc gentily closed the book, looked up and saw everyone was asleep. He nodded and yawned, then said, "Maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a minute". The next thing he knew, he was sound asleep.

)))

Zack was the first one to wake up. He looked at his watch and jumped three feet in the air. He quickly woke Dustin up, and they got everyone else up. James looked at his watch and nearly had a heart attack. He yelled, "OY BEJESUS! IT'S 9 O'CLOCK? I still have alotta work to do. And now, I only have three hours to do it", and he ran back to his building.

Jen sat up and asked, "Did we really just fall asleep for 3 hours?".

Rocket looked at her and nodded. Then said, "It just wouldn't be Christmas if we didn't. Don't you remember all those years when I read you that poem on Christmas eve?".

Jen nodded as she thought back to the old days. (author's note. I'm not putting in a flashback here. I think you can work out what happens. Also, I know there should be more carols, but I got sick of trying to match up characters and carols)

)))

James ran into his building, put his guitar back by his bed, and dug out the Christmas gifts he had yet to wrap. He said, "Ok, let's get started", and began wrapping the gifts.

10 minutes later

He had just finshed wrapping Zack and Dustin's gifts when he yelled, "DAMN!". He had used the wrong wrapping paper. The paper he used said 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY'. Thinking quickly, he took out a marker and wrote 'JESUS' on it.

45 more minutes later

He was almost finished. Just one gift left to wrap. This one was for Jen. He stopped and thought about it for a second. Technically, he was giving Jen two gifts, the "friend to friend" gift, a pocket knife, which she had been dropping hints about for months, and the "boyfriend to girlfriend, I love you" gift. He brushed the thought away and set to work wrapping the knife. When he finished that, he took out the other gift. He opened the velvet box, and watched as it glistened and sparkled in the light from the desk lamp. He said, "More beautiful then a sunset, but still can't hold a candle to Jen", closed the box and stashed it in the desk drawer. "Ok", he said to himself, "that's done. Time to go get my eggnog on with my family". He walked out the front door, pondering outloud, "What part of the egg is the nog, anyway?.

As he walked to the cafe, he couldn't help but admire the Christmas lights that everyone had put up. He sighed and muttered, "I can't believe I've been missin' out on this my whole life. Whose idea was it to not celebrate Christmas at the base?". Then, he looked around it every direction and muttered, "I really need to stop talking to myself".

)))

Mater was already making a fool of himself. He was trying to sing Christmas carols on his own, while drunk. Plus, He didn't know the words to half the carols. So, he was left singing such songs as, (to the tune of the little drummer boy) "Get a job, you Bum-bum-bum-bum. Money don't grow on trees, you Bum-bum-bum-bum", or (to the tune of silent night) "Silent farts. Deadly farts. All was calm, Not for long". and who could forget, (to the tune of hark, the hearld angels sing. The end doesnt matter) "Call a doctor, Earl is bleedin'. Tried to pet my pitbull, Sam. That stupid moron, he knowed better. Now, he's in the doctor's office, and he don't got no frickin' hand".

James arrived at the cafe, and Evan immedately said, "Hey James, How's that wound?".

"Still a little sore, but it's gettin' there", James answered.

James thought back to a few days eariler. He had thought that, since the lake was frozen, they could try ice skating. He soon found out that it was a terrible idea. He had lost his balance after moving about six feet. He then fell and bruised his lower back pretty badly. He shook his head and thought, '"Let's go ice skating", I said. "It'll be fun", I said. Me and my big mouth'.

Jen walked over to him with two glasses of eggnog. She handed one to him and said, "To us". They both took a sip. Then Jen said, "So, what was so important that you had to run off to do it?".

James told her, "I had some work to finish. That's all I'm gonna give".

Mater pulled up to them and asked, "Did you remember to write a letter to Santa?".

James said, "Yes, I did. Did you?".

Mater nodded and said, "Yep, I done it on the computer!".

James asked, "Did you send it to him?".

Mater shook his hood and said, "No".

James and Jen looked at each other, puzzled and asked, "Why not?".

Mater giggled, "My computer won't fit in the mailbox!".

Jen facepalmed, James just started laughing.

Mater continued, "I'm kiddin'. I printed it out. I got a second copy here, too", and he took a piece of paper out of his wheel well and unfolded it.

James looked at the page and said, "The ink looks kinda weird, doesn't it?".

Mater said, "That's because I was runnin' outta ink, so I mixed it with water. To stretch it a little further".

James smiled and said, "Mater, don't ever change".

Mater looked puzzled and said, "Huh? What about my oil?".

James said, "Nevermind".

)))

It was starting to get late. Everyone made their way home and went straight to bed, hoping Santa would come soon.

James was lying awake in bed, too excited to sleep, when he heard something downstairs. Thinking quickly, he grabbed the velvet box containing Jen's gift and tucked it in his pocket for safe keeping, just incase what he heard was a burglar. He then grabbed his shot gun and ran down the stairs yelling, "WHO'S THERE?".

He heard a voice call back, "SANTA CLAUS!". So James lowered his gun and reached for the light. Sure enough, at the base of the stairs stood none other then Santa Claus himself.

James was so shocked, he dropped the shot gun. He said, "Hello, Mister Claus. I'm sorry about that. I got scared and my instincts took over".

Santa nodded and said, "Don't worry, I've seen worse".

10 minutes later

"Oh, Santa?", James said, "Could you do me one little favor before you leave?".

"Sure", Santa said, "What do you need?".

James said, "Well, it's about my girlfriend, Jen. She means the world to me, and I wanna treat her right. I just need your opinion on the gift I got for her. I just figured that sence you give billions of people gifts, you must be a gift expert. I figured you'd know if what I got was a good idea or not".

Santa nodded and said, "Ok, I can take a quick peek". James took out the small velvet box and opened it. Santa looked at the gift and said, "She'll love it. I guarantee it". He clanced at the clock and said, "I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta fly. I hope to see you next year".

"Bye Santa. Merry Christmas", James said.

Santa said, "Merry Christmas to you too". The light went out, and when it came back on, Santa was gone.

James picked up his shot gun, went back upstairs, put the shot gun away, crawled back into bed, and finally fell asleep.

)))

On Christmas morning, the town was not awoken by dueling _Revelle_ and Jimi Hendrick's _Star Spangled Banner_. Instead, the town was woken 10 minutes early by Mater screaming, "IT'S CHRISTMAS! IT'S CHRISTMAS! MERRY CHRISTMAS!", as he raced through the town, screaming his fool hood off like an excited child.

James rubbed his eyes and got out of bed. He was so excited because his first real Christmas had finally arrived that he almost ran out into the street and started yelling with Mater, but he knew better. He got dressed in the usual fashion, a pair of camoflage pants, a Christmas themed T-shirt, his combat boots which were past their prime, and his Santa hat ball cap. He stopped and thought for a second, then said, "Oh, what the heck", and put his gun on his hip and his knife on his ankle.

Up the street, Jen was tryingto wake Rocket up. She was bouncing on his roof like Christine on a sugar high and yelling, "WAKE UP, YOU SLEEPY HOOD!".

Rocket groaned, "Please stop bouncing on top of me".

Jen said, "Are you awake?".

Rocket said, "I am now".

Jen smiled and said, "C'mon, let's go", and opened the door.

They left the cone and saw James walking up the road, carrying a very large, lumpy sack on his back. Rocket called out to him, "Hey Santa, Havin' a problem with the sleigh?".

James said, "Oh, lady of the evening, lady of the evening, lady of the evening!".

"What?", Jen asked.

James answered, "Blame the Polical Correcters. You can't even say 'Ho ho ho' no more".

)))

At the cafe, everyone was exchanging gifts, the classic Christmas tradition.

James gave Mater a large, flat package, and told him, "I found this when I was running out by Grease Gulch. I thought you'd like it".

Mater opened it and yelled, "OH MY GOD! IT'S MAH HOOD! IT'S MAH HOOD! I ain't seen this thing in years", and put it back on where it belonged. He then said, "Well, it fits perfectly. How do I look?".

"You look great, suggah", Flo said.

"Come by my shop later, and I'll make sure that thing doesn't come off again", Ramone told Mater.

"Thanks Ramone", Mater said, turning back to James, "Thank you so much. I thought this thing was really gone for good".

"Well, ya never know what you'll find out in ol' Grease Gulch", James said.

Lightning asked, "What's Grease Gulch?".

"The remains of an abandoned town about 10 miles from here", James said.

You ran 20 miles, round trip?", Jen asked, dumbfounded.

"Yeah. I just don't brag about it". James said.

Jen said, "Ok, my turn", she opened her gift from James and said, "A pocketknife! It's just what I always needed. Thank you".

James said, "Your very welcome. My turn", and opened his gift from Jen, "Workboots! Just what I needed. Thank you".

Zack snickered and said, "James, open my gift".

James said, "Uhh, ok". He opened the box and a huge tarantula jumped out. "GREAT STINKIN' BANANAS!", he screamed. Zack, Evan, Dustin, and Christine all collapsed laughing. That was when James realized that the spider was fake. It was attached to a spring so that when the box was opened, it would jump out and scare him. He was not happy. He then told Zack, "That's not funny. I'm an arachnophobic. When I was little, I got bitten by a spider and nearly died".

All Zack had to say was, "I know. That's why it's funny".

James thought, 'I am gonna get him back, big time'. That was when he remembered the gift he was giving Zack, and he had to fight to not just start laughing. He simled and said, "It's ok. I can take a joke. Open my gift".

Zack shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ok". He opened the box, looked inside and said, "Wow, a pie. Thank...".

At that time, James quickly grabbed the bottom of the box and forced it up into Zack's face. The pie hit him square in the nose. The entire cafe erupted in laughter. James simply stated, "Ya can't beat the classics".

Zack, muffled by the pie pan, said, "Mmm, I'll say". He took the pie pan off his face, scraped the pie out of his eyes, ate some of it off his fingers, and said "Mmmm, this is pretty good. What is that? Banana cream?".

James said, "I'm glad you like it. I made it myself".

Jen asked, "Is there anything you can't do?".

James answered, "We learned that a few days ago. I can't ice skate".

Jen said, "Yeah, there is that".

James said, "Jen, there's another gift I wanna give you".

Jen smirked, "If it's something you wrapped up in a pair of underwear and stuck in your pants, I'm not interested".

"It's not. I swear", James said. He took out the velvet box and opened it. Jen's jaw hit the ground.

"Oh my god", she finally managed, "Thank you, so much".

Inside the box, was a small, gold heart shaped locket, with 'Jen and James, forever' inscribed on the front. She opened it and saw a short poem inscribed inside. It said,

_When the sun don't rise,_

_and the wind don't blow,_

_and the seas have left the shore._

_I promise you dear,_

_with my dying breath,_

_to love you, forevermore._

Jen felt her heart melt. She wrapped her arms around James and said, "Thank you, so much. I love you".

James smiled and said, "I love you too".

Suddenly, Rocket said, "Hey guys, your standing under the Mistletoe. You know what that means".

Jen and James looked eachother in the eye, held eachother tight, and they kissed.

Zack mumbled, "Oh, gag me".

Dustin lightly punched him in the arm.

Zack said, "Ow. Dustin, that hurt".

Dustin rolled his eyes and handed Zack a towel.

Zack began to wipe his face off, then stopped and looked at Dustin, "You knew?", he asked.

Dustin nodded.

Zack said, "Then why didn't you say something?".

Dustin rolled his eyes again.

Zack said, "Oops, sorry".

McQueenfan95: Sorry the end sucked, but it took me a month to write this. I had to get it finished before Christmas. Also, I added the Hanukkah song because I wrote part of this during Hannukah. Well, I'm all done. Bye.


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